Recovering from P*rn Addiction..

Today I want to talk about something that has troubled me, something that I've dealt with for 15 years.

And it hasn't been an easy journey.

There is a lot of shame that comes with specific habits that, you know, you don't necessarily want people to know about

because certain things just make you feel like if you talk about them in the open,

people will judge you before they even know you and before they even hear your story.

And that's just how humans are wired. You know, we read

a headline or we see a specific situation that a person is in and we instantly just say, you know, that's a good guy or that's a bad guy, you know.

And it's tough.

It's tough because that

closes the door for a lot of people to talk about a lot of the things that

they're going through, no matter how good or bad, because

they're afraid that people will either shun

them for going through that human experience or, you know, people will envy them for going through another human experience that might be good for them.

um i had to set some stuff up so

i could sit and talk because my phone's on there but um

yeah that that shame is

a sticky thing and like

i said the specific i'm sure you read the title the specific addiction that i've suffered with and struggled with over the last 15 years

has been porn and it is it's one of those addictions that

which honestly i feel like we we we have a strange thing with normalizing a lot of addictions

like as people as humans in general i mean part of that i believe is like everybody's addicted to something.

Now, whether those addictions or habits are something beneficial to you or not is a different conversation.

But I do believe that everybody has habits. Everybody has something that they just stick with.

And you can either pick up those good habits early or you can pick up bad habits early.

And also, a lot of times when people are addicted to things, that doesn't necessarily mean that that's the only habit that they have.

Like early on in my life, I was deep into religious environments.

I was born into religious environments.

I didn't really have a choice on whether I was deep in them or not, but I was deep inside religious environments.

And that kind of fostered different talents, learning how to play piano, singing.

um eventually I did get into like the video space where I

you know started a photography and videography company

and you know did that you know I created my own YouTube

channel you know way back when different from

this channel and created a lot of content and

you know it did pretty well and you know there was so many enjoyable things that I did in my childhood

and my like teenage years and I

don't know I did a lot of amazing things but

underneath the surface of all the good things that I

got myself into and all the good habits that

I learned and you know all of those different things there was always pornography under the surface and it wasn't until

But recently, when I got into my older years,

I realized that a lot of the things that I enjoyed as a kid started to just get stripped away one by one.

I stopped caring about music. I stopped caring about photography and videography.

I stopped caring about a lot of the things that I actually enjoyed. And porn became the only thing that helped me relieve stress.

It became the only thing that helped me go to sleep at night.

It became the only thing that helped me basically solve all of these issues in my life.

And I had no other outlets. And, you know, like I said, addiction has always been a touchy subject for a lot of people because, like I said, we normalize it in everyday life.

You know, a lot of people get addicted to alcohol and it's one of the biggest things that people get addicted to.

Yet, you know, when you go to a ballgame or when you go to, you know, out with your friends or whatever, it's kind of expected for you to drink.

And, you know, depending on how often you out with those same friends, it's expected for you to drink every day.