纯享 | 邱瑞吐槽“钻石房”太好笑了【脱口秀大会S4 ROCK&ROAST】

Please

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And when I went to rent a house, there was a particularly annoying phrase on the rental app.

It asked you to input where you want to live, and I thought, do I want to live in the suburbs? I have an addiction to that too.

Isn't there a status for this? Yes, yes, yes, it's a matter of whether I want it or not. I want to live in the Forbidden City.

But I have no money. If you don't want to live in the suburbs, you can only share a rental with someone. If something breaks in the house, no one will fix it.

The light bulb in my bathroom is broken, and no one will fix it, forcing you to use a heater for lighting.

That's what you call sunbathing.

You can't sit still on the toilet; you have to move around, or you'll get sunburned.

Did you notice that I've been talking to that Turkish guy for a month?

I'm getting darker by the day, and my colleagues are asking me if I've been getting a tan recently.

I'm too embarrassed to tell him that I've just been a bit diarrhea lately.

Don't heat the lamp yet.

It's really hard for us outsiders to rent a house; we have to find several real estate agents every so often.

Listening to them redefine what a one-bedroom is.

I told the agent to find me a one-bedroom, and he opened the door and took me into a two-bedroom.

He said this was originally a one-bedroom, and I said, 'Are you talking like that, brother?'

This used to be a grassland.

He.

Brought.

I've seen the most outrageous house; its layout is called a diamond house.

What does that mean? It means you can't find a right angle in this room.

But there are four southeast corners.

When you walk into this house, it feels like you've entered the interior of a diamond.

You can't even say it has four walls; at the very least, it has twelve walls.

Got it, got it, got it, got it

My bedroom is T-shaped, and the bathroom is triangular

This house is so complicated that I need a reference line to know its exact area

What a coincidence!

What kind of house has so many cold corners? Do you feel like this house was pieced together from the leftover corners of other houses?

This house is built in such a twisted way, it has four southeast corners, yet they are all lucky corners.

I really am obsessed.

This is quite funny, it's so funny that if you changed it to glass, you could see rainbows inside.

But this house has a particularly big advantage; it probably has the safest bathroom in the world.